so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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