Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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