we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I will pee on everything he values.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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