You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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