I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
