Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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