Hey man sorry I got all grabby
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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