so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
