Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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