Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
