Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
