my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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