my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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