apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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