We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
