why do cheetos always look like penises
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
