Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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