oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
