thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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