I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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