Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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