Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is not my ceiling
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize