Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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