By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
