In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
