If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
