Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
