Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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