My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize