Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
