So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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