ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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