tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
