The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
