after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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