Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
