Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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