If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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