whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
