11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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