saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
