he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
