in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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