I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
