So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
