You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
