We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
a search helicopter?!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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