The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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