The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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