At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Buhtt sex?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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