when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
