did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
