The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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