I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
