Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I looked at my own cervix.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
