the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
