shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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