I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
