you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
