lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
