I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
