Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
